All For Her
by Kipcha
Summary: Fate was a cruel thing. So when Kanba is given the gift of interacting with Himari once more, he knew it was all too good to be true and yet, he simply did not have it in him to avoid her, even if things would never be what they once were. His only crime was simply loving her too much. Post-series
1. Meeting Her For The First Time

_In the case of this fic, just pretend EVERYTHING after Himari and Ringo wake up on that train in the last episode never happened._

_There was no note that made her remember Shouma and Kanba, there was no reincarnations of them, they just simply disappeared into an alternate reality and became something like ghosts in the world where Ringo and Himari live freely now._

* * *

He had always watched over her.

From the time he had first laid eyes on her, he knew he loved her, there was not a single doubt in his young mind. She extended her hand in kindness, placing a band-aid over a wound that did not show on skin, but pained him all the same. Despite being such a dark, dismal time and despite everything that he would need to sacrifice, his world had felt just a little bit brighter, simply because she was in it. Everything had changed.

No one seemed to understand that a mere child could truly love another so deeply, so truly, but he did. Himari was everything and he would do anything to keep her safe. No matter who denied his feelings, who insisted that they were wrong, he knew that he had, and always would, give her everything.

His heart.

His mind.

His soul.

He had died for her, after all.

No, he corrected himself as he watched her stumble forward, his heart wrenching painfully as he watched the trail of blood race down her arm and drip from her finger. He had given up his existence for her, a fate far more cruel then simply dying. She didn't know who he was or that he had ever been, what he had done for her or how much he loved her. To her, he was nothing but a blank space in her life. A fleeting moment in time that she never even knew was there. Little more than a dream.

There was no Kanba Takakura.

There never had been and never would be.

Not in this timeline, anyways.

But he remembered her. He still, after all this time, all these horribly painful years, did his best to protect her. He followed her and comforted her at times when she was vulnerable in sleep. While she was awake, he was invisible, unable to make any form of contact but he certainly liked to believe that some tiny, subconscious part of her was at least vaguely aware of his presence.

But while she slept, he would often visit her in her dreams. Himari suffered from horrible nightmares, ones filled with shapeless shadows and pain, but his presence in her mind always chased them away. Her invisible knight, performing his noble duties without fail, much to the unknowing comfort of his princess.

It was the one thing managing to keep him sane and yet, every day it hurt worse when she could not recall him when she woke.

He knew what he was giving up when he saved her life. He knew. He would do it again in a heartbeat.

But damn, it _hurt_ so badly...

Yet, after all that work, after all he had given up, here she stood before him. Beaten, bloodied and still ready to die far too young. The thought made him flood with rage, his wrath terrible and yet completely unable to manifest itself. He was little more then a ghost that had never been.

Himari had been pulled in by a boy named Kenji, something that he never would have allowed if he had lived. Her parents hadn't seen the signs, hadn't paid enough attention, but he would have. He would have saved her, protected her from harm. He would have been far more careful and Himari would have been safe.

Now, he was little more then a bystander, not even capable of warning her.

She had fallen for Kenji, quite hard, and despite his immense jealousy Kanba could not deny the happiness he brought her. But Kenji soon began to show a different side of himself, a side that was too harsh and wild for such a fragile person like Himari. He was suffocating her, his possessive and abusive nature finally making itself known when he had hit her for the very first time.

The first time he hit her, she had been chatting with a male student in her grade. She had been assigned to be the boys class partner and, being Himari, she charmed him immediately. And, being Himari, she never noticed. But _he_ did. Kenji demanded she request a new partner and when she questioned him, he had slapped her harshly across the cheek. With Kanba raging in unreleaseable fury, Himari was forced to approach the teacher the next day to ask for a new partner.

She never breathed a word to anyone. But he knew.

The second time he had been having a bad day. He had been fired from his job and came upon her doorstep, of course on a night when her parents were out. Before she could even ask what was wrong he laid into her, taking advantage of her small, weaker frame to overpower her and made her into his new whimpering punching bag.

Still, Kanba could do nothing more then shout and cry and beg, trying desperately to find some way to save her.

But he never could.

The boy left her crying into her pillow long into the night, covered in bruises, hurting, and still trying to muffle her whimpers. She had long sobbed herself to sleep by the time her parents arrived home, none the wiser to their daughter's plight.

She had cried till she had no tears left.

Kanba felt he could do the same.

The problem escalated. Himari, his brave, beautiful, wonderful Himari, was slowly being reduced to a shell of her former self. Yet, no one around her noticed? How could they not? How could they not see!

Was this the life he had sacrificed himself for? For her to be, dare he say it, more miserable then before? Residing in simply another form of Hell.

Life simply wasn't fair.

Yet, it marched on, heedless to both their sufferings.

Her nose was bleeding heavily as she ran, the crimson dripping off her elbow as she tried to stem the flow. Her muffled sobs broke through her hand as she tried to hide in a small closet, closing the door behind her with a muffled snap. She could hear him tromping around the house upstairs, calling her name and demanding she reveal herself. Himari collapsed, pulling herself into a ball.

"Himari..." Kanba whispered, wishing more than anything that he could be there with her, to protect her from all that tried to cause her harm. He tried to touch her, to make her know she wasn't alone, but like always he was completely helpless. He could do nothing but watch.

She hiccupped, tears still flowing heavily as she grabbed a jacket, pressing it to her face and soaking up a lot of blood, attempting to stop the blood from pouring out her nose. Kenji had punched her right in the face, a move that had taken her cruelly by surprise. Normally he always avoided her face, but his rage had blinded him from the consequences. If he didn't care about the wounds being shown, it was even less likely that he would stop before things got out of hand.

Even now, just upstairs, he was still baying for blood. She considered making a run for the door, but with his house on a large estate, she would never make it to the gates before he caught her. For all the Himari was, athletic was not one of them.

"HIMARI!"

She whimpered again, her mind working a mile a minute. She fumbled through the closet, feeling for a weapon and coming up empty. Nothing but jackets and shoes, things that would only serve to enrage him further if thrown in his direction.

"HIMARI, COME BACK THIS INSTANT!" Kenji demanded, his voice turning hoarse from rage. Kanba felt his entire presence tighten, his mind burning with loathing. He would kill him, he swore he would kill him! "This isn't a game! Get your pitiful ass out here!"

Himari made an attempt to stand, wondering if perhaps there was something on a shelf above her head that she had missed that could save her. She staggered, the dizziness throwing off her balance before she collapsed again, dragging the hanging coats down with her, the clatter echoing throughout the house.

Everything froze.

If Kanba had been breathing, he would have stopped.

Himari's eyes widened in fear, before turning to complete panic when the footsteps changed direction, heading purposefully towards the staircase.

"No..." She sobbed, shaking hands searching the dark for something, anything. "No, please..."

**_Stomp, stomp, stomp._**

Right down the stairs, turning the corner at the bottom and heading for the door.

_No, don't do this..._ Kanba pleaded, wishing more then anything that he could hold the door shut, to shield her from the blows that were sure to come, to beat that damned Kenji until he could beg no more. _It can't end like this..._

The handle turned.

_She will not die!_

The door flung open.

_Not again! He did not give up **everything** for it to still end like this!_

Light flooded in and revealed a quivering Himari.

_NO!_

Kenji sneered down at her, ignoring her shriek of pain as he grabbed her long, beautiful hair. She begged and pleaded for release, but he only drug her to the stairs, pulling her up purposefully as she attempted to gain her footing and fight against him.

"Please, Kenji, don't do this!"

"Quiet, Himari, you brought this on yourself."

He stepped upwards, dragging her upstairs along with him. He'd make her regret trying to run from him.

"I don't understand, what have I-"

"SHUT UP!"

**_"NO!"_**

The boy froze, the enraged shout echoing through the hall as loud as a clap of thunder. Even Himari ceased her struggling, shocked by the sudden outburst.

He only caught a mere glimpse of red and green before he found himself flying through the air, an invisible force slamming him to the floor. Kenji's blue eyes widened in disbelief, his mind hazy from the force of the blow and yet, there seemed to be nothing around the caused it. He caught sight of Himari still on the floor, pushing herself up on her elbows, her eyes wide with shock. If it wasn't her, the wh-

**_BASTARD!_**

Something hard and solid collided with his jaw with alarming force, whipping his head to the side and slamming his cheek into the hardwood floor, the thunk of it echoing through his ear. Another blow collided with his side, flinging him into a wall and knocking the wind out of him before another force hit him squarely in the nose, enough to practically shatter it, blood welling forth and springing from his nostrils like a kitchen faucet.

His vision flickered as shaky hands rose to his face, his mind foggy as he tried to focus above him, looking for his invisible attacker. For a split second, he could have sworn he saw a hazy figure, a pair of hateful green eyes and the bottom of a shoe speeding towards his face at an alarming rate before something slammed into his skull.

His eyes shuttered, his eyelids fluttering before he passed out.

* * *

Himari watched in disbelief as her attacker was defeated by seemingly nothing. She would have thought it was her mind playing tricks on her, the way his side indented as if kicked or his nose breaking from nothing, but when he finally laid unconscious on the ground, she couldn't fight the feeling that realistically, she should be terrified. But she wasn't.

She rested her hands on the stairs, her eyes wide with disbelief as she regarded the boy she had trusted and feared, defeated and broken. No doubt it would be quite some time before he awoke again and when he did... She would not want to be him. Sore did not begin to describe the extent of his trauma. Already bruises were blossoming across his skin.

She attempted to stand, despite her light-headed state before slipping on the stair, pitching forward towards the floor. She barely had a moment to release a small shriek of panic before she was stopped in midair.

_Careful, Himari._

She froze, wondering if the voice in her head had been her imagination. What was she talking about, of course it was he-

_He's not a danger to you anymore, Himari, and if I have my way, he'll never lay a damn finger on you ever again. I'm sorry I couldn't do it earlier, I just... Didn't know I could._

"Wha-... What?" She whispered, backing away from the mystery force and pressing her palms to her ears. Hearing voices? She must have hit her head harder then she thought!

_What's wrong? Himari, are you okay?_

"Who are you!" She demanded, her hands shaky and her voice quivering. "Where are you? Where did you come from?"

There was a pause of silence and for a moment, she thought it had stopped.

_Wait... You can hear me?_

"Yes!" She retorted, wondering how on Earth she could hear a voice so clear when she tried so desperatly to deafen it, "What are you? Are you a ghost? Why are you here?"

She froze when she heard a small sound that could only be described as a sob, and yet there was an undertone to it that she couldn't quite place. Something that made her think it wasn't a sound made from sadness. It sounded something like disbelief and perhaps... Joy?

_You can hear me... After all of this time... Himari..._

"I don't understand." She replied, her fear slowly ebbing away despite herself. Whatever it was, it obviously did not mean her harm. "What ar-"

_This is impossible... Please, just let me ask... Do the names Kanba and Shouma mean anything to you?_

The tone was so hopeful that she almost felt ashamed at the thought of disappointing the specter. "N-No... Should they?"

The voice breathed deeply as if sighing. Disappointment, she knew. _No, it's not any of your fault Himari. I just... Nevermind. Are you alright?_

"A bit sore and my nose is still bleeding but... I am okay." She told the voice warily, a slight quiver in her lip betraying how close she was to tears. She hesitated for a moment, hugging herself and unsure of where to look when speaking to it... Him. The voice was definitely a him. "May I ask what you are?"

The voice paused. When it answered, it seemed almost as unsure as she did. _I suppose you could call me a ghost._

"Oh." She responded, surprised at how the information gave her no alarm. Despite her initial fear, she was finding the presence more calming by the second. Almost familiar. "Why are you here?"

_To protect you. I'm always with you. I exist... Merely for you, Himari. Whether you know whom I am or not._

"Oh." She responded, feeling a touch overwhelmed. It was all happening so fast, it was all very confusing. This morning she awoke thinking she was going on a date, only to be beaten and bloodied and then saved by a ghost... Or a guardian angel. As a matter of fact, she was honestly questioning her sanity. "Umm, well... Thank you for saving me, um...?"

_...Kanba._ He answered her hesitantly, unsure of himself. _My name is Kanba._

"Kanba-san." She replied, testing his name on her tongue. She glanced down at Kenji. "I should probably call him an ambulance."

_After you're somewhere safe!_

She jumped at his raised volume, the fury in his voice shocking her slightly. "Alright, I don't live far from here, I can call them from my home phone. My parents aren't home bu-"

_Then you call contact an ambulance from the room upstairs. I assume it's his parents room? There's a lock on the door that you can shut behind you, as well as a phone. If he wakes up, he won't be able to reach you there and even if he does... I will handle it._

Kanba's voice was firm and leaving no room for negotiation. Himari nodded slowly, giving Kenji and hesitant last look before stepping slowly upstairs, wincing as pain shot through her rib cage. She stumbled down the sidewalk to the gates of the estate, pushing them open and pausing for a moment to catch her breath, feeling nauseous.

_Himari, what can I do to help? I don't really know what I can do, but... Dammit, I'm so useless! I would offer to carry you but I'm not quite so confident in myself that I wouldn't accidentally drop you, I'm not sure how much I can give..._

"No, Kanba-san, you saved me today." She soothed, limping but moving steadily up the stairs, sighing as she reached the top. She limped to the bedroom as fast as she could, giving the unmoving form of Kenji one last glance before rushing into the room and closing the door behind her. "You've done more then enough. Without you there, I might be... Very hurt."

_I'm glad I could do something useful, for once._

She reached for the phone, pressing 911.

"Hello, this is the emergency response line, what is your emergency?"

"My boyfriend... Well, not my boyfriend anymore, he's unconscious downstairs." Himari whimpered slightly, rubbing her scalp absent-mindedly, it still stinging from Kenji's grab at her hair. "He attacked me and was fighting with me, dragging me upstairs when I started fighting against him and he fell. He's not moving right now but he is breathing, he seems to be fairly heavily injured. I'm not much better. Please send help."

"It's alright Ma'am." The other voice told her calmly, "Are you in a secure place? If he wakes up, can he get to you?"

"No, I'm in a locked room."

"Good, very good. Now please, give me the address and we will be there as soon as we can."

"Thank you."

Kanba heaved a sigh of relief, convinced now that Himari was finally safe. The sight of her bruises and her bloodied face was enough to make him want to go downstairs and finish the job, but he held himself steady at Himari's side. She needed him more now. The fact that he could finally _communicate_ with her, _talk_ with her,_ protect_ her...

It filled him with a light that had been extinguished for so long...

And yet, he could not fight down the insistent feeling of dread.

This was all too good to be true and as such, it had to be.

For now, he would enjoy his time together with Himari, until the bomb would no doubt drop once more.


	2. The Day After

_Wow, what an awesome response I have had to this story! I'm so glad there are so many people appreciating it!_

_Now, a quick note. When I first posted the first chapter, I had two possible endings typed out, so I want an opinion. Should I post them both for you guys to read as an alternate ending, or 'man up' and pick the one that I originally planned? Which would you guys prefer to read?_

* * *

Kanba hovered carefully, his eyes fixed on Himari's face, her beautiful skin blotched in purple and yellow from bruises, courtesy of none other than the bastard next door. She breathed evenly, leaning on the armrest of the small couch in the waiting room, her eyes closed as she napped peacefully. She was surprisingly calm after the event of merely a few hours ago. She had, thankfully, been given a clean bill of health. Nothing broken, simply bruised. Her parents were currently sorting everything out in the next room.

Kanba supposed he should be grateful no one could hear him, Kenji's parents seemed sincerely shocked and ashamed that their son had committed such terrible acts against Himari, a girl that they had grown to like through her time with Kenji. He would not have cared, though. He would have not been afraid to tell them what he really thought of that deceitful little jerk.

Even now, hot rage coursed through him, despite the hours that had passed.

He was still furious.

He drifted from Himari, through the wall into Kenji's room where he lay unconscious and heavily sedated. He smirked, remembering the boy waking in the ambulance and thrashing wildly, screaming about a ghost that had beat him unconscious. Inconsolable and hallucinating, the ambulance personalle had said, poor thing. No one would believe a crazy boy. Especially a crazy boy who now had a history of violence.

Kanba doubted Kenji's life would be returning to normal anytime soon.

The thought filled him with a dark satisfaction.

He headed back to Himari, only to feel a jolt of shock when she wasn't where he had left her. She had been asleep not moments ago, he had been gone a mere few minutes!

"K-Kanba-san?" Questioned a voice from behind him. He spun to see Himari walking hesitantly down the hallways, looking around her for something she knew she would not be able to see. "Are you here? Kanba-san?"

_Himari, you should be resting._

Her eyes widened as his soothing voice entered her mind and her shoulders visibly relaxed, the tension leaving her body. She seemed awfully accepting of her new supernatural friend, he pondered suddenly. Sure, he had saved her... But...

Perhaps a part of her was still comforted by his presence?

Perhaps... A part of her still remembered?

He closed his eyes, a pain shooting through his chest. No, it wasn't possible. Kanba Takakura had never existed.

There was nothing for her to remember.

"Oh, thank goodness." She smiled, glancing upwards and while she did not look directly at him, she came surprisingly close. He felt a bit put out to realize she still was not able to see him. "I thought perhaps you had left me."

_Of course not._ He told her chidingly, _There is no need to fear that, Himari. I won't leave you._

She smiled, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I simply wanted to say thank you again, Kanba-san. I would have been in a lot of trouble without you!"

_You're welcome, Himari._ He replied, a smile in his voice. _But perhaps it would be best to wait until you're somewhere private to talk with me. It would look a little odd to see you out here talking to yourself._

"Oh!" She muttered as if not having thought of that before. "I guess you're right."

_Of course I am._ Kanba explained, wagging a finger that she could not see._ You do not want to have another full day of hospital food, especially since they primarily serve milk with it!_

Her nose wrinkled instantly. "Ergh, milk. How anyone could drink that stuff, I'll never know!"

Kanba laughed, Himari's features softening at the sound. _Besides, you spend more than enough time at the hospital, we don't need any more days here!_

Himari's expression turned to confusion. "I'm not sure I understand, the only time I ever even go to the doctor is usually for my annual health exam."

_Ahh, yes._ Kanba appeased, trying to backtrack. It was far, far too early to tell her about... Well, all of it. _Of course. I just meant you don't want to start spending more days here then necessary._

This seemed to appease the girl and she smiled. "That makes sense, I suppose. I've never been fond of hospitals. Although then again, who is?"

_Agreed, they give me chills_. Indeed, the memories that filled these halls did give him unpleasant tingles, an odd sensation for one without a body. He glanced up the hall, a particular door catching his eye, filling his heart with a familiar pain. That was where he stood when she... Died...

"Kanba... San?"

He jumped. _Sorry, what did you say Himari?_

"Nothing..." She answered hesitantly, her eyes clouded slightly as if she were thinking hard about something. "I just had this feeling that you were... Unhappy. Are you okay?"

_Yes, I'm sorry. Everything is okay now that you're safe._ He spoke honestly, pushing the horrible memories away. That would never happen again, at least not until Himari was old and had lived a good life. He would make certain of it.

She nodded and he caught his first hint of disbelief coming from her. It made him a bit uneasy, knowing that if she didn't trust him things would grow far more difficult then they already were. Just when he was about to say something the doors opened and her parents, as well as Kenji's, walked tiredly into the waiting room.

Kenji's mother, Akane, immediately caught Himari's eye and tears flooded into them. "Himari-chan... I'm so sorry..."

Before Himari could answer, Akane turned to her husband, burying her face into his chest and sobbing loudly. He spoke to her quietly, rubbing his hand soothingly on her back. The man glanced up, looking Himari over and pausing momentarily on the bruises, before breathing heavily and resting his chin on the top of Akane's head.

"I truly apologise for all that our son has put you through, Himari-san." He whispered, "I can never make up for it but I hope... That you can come to forgive us for allowing such a thing to go unnoticed by us. We never thought that he would ev-"

"Please, there is nothing for me to forgive from the two of you." Himari interrupted quietly, her eyes warm as she regarded them. "You have never treated me with anything other then the utmost respect and kindness. This is not your fault."

Despite all the crying and hugging and apologies that followed, Kanba couldn't help but disagree a little, but he kept it to himself.

Besides, she wouldn't need anyone else to protect her now. She had him.

That would be all she needed.

* * *

Despite Himari's persistence that she was completely fine, she was not permitted to attend school the next day. Kanba watched her as she slept, her breathing calm and even. She had fought so hard to go and yet now she slept so deeply. This girl never seemed to want to do what was best for her.

She stirred slightly, her eyes still clouded with sleep as she slowly woke. "Mhmm, Kan-chan?"

His heart skipped a beat as he felt himself begin to shake. Was she dreaming... About him?

Sure, she dreamed of him a lot, but that was because he entered her dreams on an almost nightly basis. None of the dreams ever stuck and she surely never remembered his name afterwards. But he hadn't even entered her mind in her slumber this time. She had been still and serene, not the time he should be poking his nose about through her thoughts. He was there to be a comfort, not a nuisance, and he would not go into her dreams unless he needed to.

So why did she dream of him now?

And how did she know that nickname?

She yawned heavily, stretching her arms as her joints popped audibly. She sighed in relief as the tension left her muscles, the tightness loosening and leaving her with a pleasantly loose feeling in her body. She wiggled her toes and blinked, noting the sunlight streaming through her window, letting her know that she had long overslept and yet she didn't care.

She tenderly touched her face and felt the bandaging over her nose, as well as the still puffy flesh that was underneath. She flinched in pain as it twinged.

_It wouldn't hurt if you'd stop touching it._

He watched in fascination as she blushed slightly in shock and embarrassment.

"K-Kanba-san, I didn't know you were here!" She greeted, her eyes moving around the room and much to his disappointment, right over him without so much as a hesitation. "How are you this morning?"

_Same as ever._ He stated,_ I don't sleep or really even feel much, so it's pretty much same ol' same ol' for me._

Her head tilted to the side for a moment, considering what he had said. "You don't sleep?"

_Nope._

This only added to her bafflement. "But... Isn't that exhausting?"

_I don't have a body to tire, so no._

"That isn't what I mean." She said, leaning back against her pillow to gather her thoughts. "Doesn't it get tiring thinking all the time? Never having a moment to just... Relax? Just because you have no body does not mean your mind must not be under a lot of strain. Humans need sleep, just to escape themselves even for just a short while." A thought crossed her mind that seemed to disturb her. "You are human, right? Or at least, were once?"

_Yes, I was_. He told her, considering her words. _I suppose it is quite tiring when you put it like that, but I don't have a choice._

She frowned at the thought. "That's quite sad Kanba-san."

He watched as her eyes darkened slightly and decided it was best to change the subject off from him. _How are you feeling this morning Himari?_

"Still sore." She sighed, "But better. I'm quite hungry though."

_If you wait a second I can go down and get you something to eat_. He offered. He had been experimenting with handling her numerous stuffed animals and was now quite confident in his ability to lift relatively small items.

"No, thank you though Kanba-san." She answered warmly, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and glorying in the sunlight just a moment longer before standing. "I want to cook a proper breakfast and besides, I like to cook. You're free to help me though!"

* * *

Kanba hovered on the counter as he watched Himari work, singing loudly as her capable hands sliced vegetables and prepared the meat in the sizzling pan. He smiled at the sight. Himari's new family had money and could provide her with the very best in all aspects. He was glad she could be treated like a princess, as she should have been before. Sure, he and Shouma had tried, but they had never exactly had much money to throw around. But they had always done their very best to make sure Himari was happy.

He jumped slightly when the phone rang, breaking him out of his reverie. His first instinct was to grab the phone and answer, as he always did whenever Himari was cooking in the kitchen, before remembering that he wasn't even capable of actually talking anymore. He didn't know how this whole weird telepathy thing worked, but he doubted it would work through a phone.

Himari picked up the phone with a musical "Hello~".

She paused, a bright smile coming on her face. "Ahh, Hibari-chan! No, I'm doing okay." She frowned as frantic words raced through the phone. "No, I don't blame Hikari-chan... No, I'm totally fine."

Kanba listened to Himari attempt to comfort her friend. Hikari had been a driving force in her and Kenji getting together, so he supposed it made sense that she would be feeling guilty about it all. Still, bothering Himari like this when she was still weak, regardless of whether she admitted it or not, was not helping things.

"I promise, Hikari-chan, it's not your fault." She soothed, "Oh, my breakfast is going to burn, I need to go! Bye!"

Slamming the phone down on the hook, Himari hurried over to the meat in the pan and lifted it off the heat, the slightly burnt smell wafting through the air as she did so.

"Oh no..." She mumbled, looking down dejectedly, "It was going to be perfect too."

_It still looks pretty good to me._ Admitted Kanba, the smell making his mouth water. _What I would give to be able to eat some of your cooking Himari_.

Himari's frown deepened, her eyes filling with sympathy. "You had to give up a lot when you died, huh?"

Kanba blinked, looking at her curiously. _Well, I didn't technically die Himari_.

Himari's mouth opened in a surprised 'O'. "Sorry, I just assumed you were a ghost, so you must have died! So you aren't dead?"

_Well..._ Mumbled Kanba, unsure of how to answer the question._ I suppose that is a yes and no. I'm not dead, but I'm not alive either._

"Oh." She answered, tilting her head to the side as she considered his words. "Well, what is it that happened?"

_I had to give up my life for someone I loved._ He answered carefully, trying not to give too much away. _She was... Dying. I did many things to try and save her, some of them very terrible things, but nothing I did helped her. Finally, I figured it out, and I needed to give up everything to help her. But I loved her a lot, more then anything or anyone else, so I did it. Now, I'm like this._

"That's horrible." She replied, her eyes full pity. The sight of them filled his chest with a familiar pain. "I suppose in a way it could be seen as quite romantic but... It's so terribly sad. She must be sad too."

_I hope not_. He told her, knowing he needed to get off the topic soon. _The reason I gave it all up was to give her a better life. The last thing I want is to be a source of pain for her._

"Yes but..." She paused before shaking her head, finishing the food and taking the plate and glass of water over to the kitchen table. "I'm sorry Kanba-san, it really isn't any of my business, but is it possible that she isn't happy now, because of what needed to be sacrificed to save her?"

_She's alive, that's all that matters._

"What was wrong with her?" She asked slowly while she sat, trying to tread carefully over the obviously touchy subject but she couldn't help it, somehow she just had to know what had happened to him. How things ended up this way for him. Maybe if she knew, she could help him like he had helped her.

_She was very sick._ He told her shortly. _She had been for a long time._

"Kanba-san... Who was sh-"

"HIMARI!"

Himari jumped, nearly knocking over her glass of water. Kanba caught it before it could spill, looking towards the entrance way and seeing a burst of green before it tackled Himari.

"Ouch!"

"Himari-chan! Are you okay!" Cried the new girl, her short brown hair swaying as she pulled back to examine Himari's face. Kanba restrained himself from cursing the silly girl out. Sure, she had been concerned, but did she really need to almost kill Himari again! "I heard about Kenji, that's horrible! And look at what he did to your nose... Oh Himari-chan, that looks terrible."

"It's fine Ringo-chan." Himari comforted, patting the hysterical girl on the shoulder. "Just a bump on the nose and a couple of bruises, I'll be okay. Really." She paused, glancing at the clock. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Lunch break." Ringo explained, "I'll have to leave in fifteen minutes to make it back in time, but I had to make sure you were okay. But you are not okay, how dare that bastard lay his pathetic hands on you!" She chuckled darkly, cracking her knuckles. "Perhaps I should pay him a little visit? What do you say to some revenge?"

"No, it's okay Ringo-chan." Giggled Himari, although Kanba had to agree with Ringo. Some revenge was definitely in order. "I was just making some food, do you want some?"

Ringo nodded enthusiastically. "Yes please!"

_Do you really think she should be staying?_ Questioned Kanba skeptically.

Himari shrugged her shoulders, moving back to the stove to make some more food.

"Shouma, shut up."

Kanba froze, his eyes shooting back to Ringo. The girl rolled her eyes, a look of irritation on her face as she made a shooing motion with her hands.

Could he really be...?

No, impossible. Himari had been friends with Ringo since as long as this reality had been happening and Shouma had never shown signs of being here as well. But then again, _he_ was there so wouldn't it make sense that Shouma, too, was staying around the girl that had meant so much in their last life?

Preparing himself, he directed his thoughts to Ringo. _Shouma's here too?_

Ringo jumped, her eyes darting around wildly. "Who said that? Shouma, what the heck, I thought you said there was only one of you!"

Ringo flinched as if someone had just yelled. Himari turned back to her friend, a look of confusion on her face.

"I just had someone other then you talk to me though, idiot!" She paused. "Well, I suppose you did mention him before, but I thought you said there hadn't been an-"

"Ringo-chan?" Questioned Himari, "Can you hear Kanba-san too?"

Ringo spun to Himari, her expression urgent. "You're the one the brother haunts?"

_I don't haunt her!_ Snapped Kanba moodily, although he was pleased to see that his voice reached both their minds at once. All he had to do was widen his focus. _I protect her!_

Himari nodded in agreement. "That is true, Ringo-chan. He saved me yesterday."

The brown haired school girl raised her hand to her chin in deep thought. "Ahh, so you have one of these creepy ghost stalkers too. I thought I might be the only one with such misfortune..."

_I AM NOT A STALKER!_

Kanba paused, realizing that that thought had not been his own, and judging from the surprised look on Himari's face, she had heard it too.

Taking a deep breath in preparation, Kanba opened his mind.

_Shouma?_

He waited patiently, knowing his brother was no doubt as surprised as he.

_Kanba?_

* * *

_And we have Ringo and Shouma! Oh, this is all coming together so well! There was a bit more light-hearted of a tone this chapter and there will be for a bit before we delve back into some more serious stuff._


	3. Stalkers

_Kanba?_

The red haired brother couldn't fight down the feeling of emotion rising within him at the familiar voice saying his name and was almost ashamed when he felt a lump form in his throat. The voice that had once been so familiar and yet now, was like a distant memory. The voice of his brother.

For once, it sounded like it before.

It sounded like person saying it knew who he was. Like it was associated with him and not some stranger or voice in their head.

Someone else remembered.

He wasn't alone.

Yet, the nagging feeling that something wasn't right tickled the edge of his joy. He had given the feeling of being remembered up, that had been his price and his punishment. Both he and Shouma had willingly surrendered their everything. So how could this possibly be?

For the moment, he pushed the foreboding feeling away. He would think about it later.

_Shouma, it's good to hear from you again._ He answered, a smile in his voice. _So you've been with her all along?_

_Well, not the entire time..._ Muttered his brother, his voice embarrassed. _It's not like I'm stalking her or anything... I go other places... Sometimes... Like checking on Himari and stuff._

"He's totally been stalking me." Ringo confirmed to Himari behind a raised hand, bringing about Shouma's sputtered denials. "He says he's been with me for months, he just couldn't say it because he wasn't able to contact me. As if I believe that, I can't get him to shut up now!"

"Ah, Kanba-san just appeared yesterday!" Himari pointed out, "When I really needed his help, he came out of nowhere. But you've been nearby for quite a while, right Kanba-san?"

_Yes._ Kanba replied, _I've always been with Himari. I've never tried leaving her or contacting someone else before. _

He paused briefly, realizing that it wasn't entirely true. He had tried a few times to contact Masako and Mario, but those two had ended in utter failure. Maybe he could try now. Or maybe that would be a bad idea, he still did not know the consequences of being able to talk to these three! In the back of his mind, he just knew there would be consequences...

Shouma snorted, drawing Kanba's attention once more. _And they say I'm the stalker..._

Kanba paused for a moment, mulling it over. _Well, I go to see two people every once in a while... But never for too long. I cannot contact them. Or at least, haven't been able too yet. _He frowned. _But I'm no stalker. I'm a protector._

Ringo smirked slightly. "Oh yes, I see the distinction. Following Himari-chan everywhere, every waking moment is totally different if you're_ protecting_ her. If you're like Shouma, you don't even sleep, so every waking moment is every moment!"

Kanba scowled, not appreciating the sly look in her eye, nor the snickering that could be heard from Shouma.

Himari regarded the air before her thoughtfully, wishing more than ever that she could see them. The image teased her mind's eye for a moment every now and then, an idea of how it looked could she see the two of them would flicker at the edges of her imagination. But before she could grab hold of it, it was gone. "Well, regardless of what we call it, Kanba-san could have saved my life yesterday, so I owe him a lot. Your name is Shouma, right?"

_Yes._ He replied in a sing-song tone, but Kanba heard it. The same pain that he himself refused to show at her lack of recognition. Kanba allowed himself a moment of pity for his brother. He must have just gone through the same thing with Ringo, having to relive it all over again with Himari must have been tough.

"And Shouma-san is Kanba-san's brother, correct?"

_Yes._ They both answered. Ringo gripped the side of her head as if fighting off a migraine.

"Can you please not speak at once?" She asked, "I just got used to having one voice in my head, but two? This is starting to get really weird. Don't you think Himari-chan?"

Himari shook her head, smiling. "No, not as odd as I would have thought actually. It seems almost... Familiar."

Kanba couldn't help the spring of hope he felt at her words. There were too many coincidences building up to allow them to slide by mere chance. He knew some part of her knew them, he just needed to figure out how to tap into it. If he could, maybe they could...

What?

Kanba sighed heavily. He and Shouma were little more than ghosts and Himari had a happy life here, Kenji excluded. Bringing back the previous one would just bring her more pain and suffering. Reminding her of such things would only be selfish; he couldn't afford to do something that would hurt her just to make himself feel better.

He needed to make sure she didn't remember. No matter how much it hurt them.

"So Shouma-san, you are not dead either, right?"

Kanba was brought rudely back to reality by the question.

_No, I'm not, technically._ Shouma answered carefully. So he hadn't told Ringo anything either. _I simply gave up my life, but I did not die._

"So both of you had to give everything up for someone?" Himari questioned, a sadness entering her eyes as she frowned. "What could have happened to you for your lives to be so unfair?"

Kanba could practically see Shouma squirming in discomfort. _Things happened, it's just how it worked out._

Himari nodded strangely, her eyes clouded over in thought as she nibbled her bottom lip, uncertain. "What were they like?"

Time to change the subject. _The food is burning._

Himari jumped, a startled squeak escaping her mouth as she raced to save Ringo's brunch. "Oh no, not again!"

Kanba didn't miss the suspicious look on Ringo's face, presumably as she noted his change of topic, but she allowed the matter to slide. Kanba sighed heavily. He just knew the girl was going to be as much of a pain in this life as she had been before.

_So you can do something other than just talk?_ Shouma asked curiously. _How did you figure that out?_

_Kenji was attacking Himari. _He answered shortly, his tone clipped and angry. He glared at Himari's bruises, the anger flaring at the thought of what had happened. _I needed to find a way to save her, so I did it._

Shouma seemed to think something over. _So you can only do it when you need to?_

Kanba grinned suddenly, realizing what Shouma was getting at. His brother may have contacted Ringo first, but he still had not discovered all the secrets. _Nope, I can any time as long as I focus_.

To prove his point, he reached down to the table as Himari sat down next to Ringo and picked up the butter knife. He confidently spun the dull knife in the air before placing it back in the butter dish.

Shouma's displeasure was nearly audible. Kanba smirked, confirming his suspicions. Shouma hadn't figured out how to do it yet.

"Why do you get the cool ghost?" Muttered Ringo bitterly, taking a bite of fruit slice, the only part of her breakfast that wasn't slightly blackened. "Yours can do tricks, mine just talks a lot."

_Hey!_ Shouma snapped,_ I'm sure I can too, I just need to learn!_

"Big talk." She sulked, poking at her egg in annoyance. Shouma grunted in irritation and although he wasn't able to see it, he just knew Shouma was trying to pick up the fork right by Ringo's hand. Unfortunately, the utensil did not so much as quiver.

He couldn't hold back a chuckle. He did not need to see his brother to know he was glaring at him.

* * *

Kanba listened to Himari converse with her parents happily, asking them how their day had gone and what they would like her to cook for dinner (Which was met with her parents ushering her to bed to relax while they cooked for her, something that made Kanba pleased to hear. It was moments like this that reminded him why he had done what he had done in the first place). He watched as she sat against her pillows, sighing.

She delicately picked up her diary, a small purple book that laid upon her nightstand, and idly wrote away in its pages. For a moment he was tempted to peek over her shoulder, before he immediately reigned himself in. No need to invade her privacy.

He momentarily considered admonishing her for the lack of light in her room, causing unnecessary strain on her eyes by only using a small lamp to illuminate her pages. He shook himself again, disbelieving. Had starting a conversation with her truly grown so awkward that he was beginning to sound like Shouma?

He really did not know how to talk with her anymore. He hated that everything felt so forced and unnatural, that he could not reference to old times or fond memories.

"Kanba-san?"

Kanba jolted with surprise, turning to look at her.

She stared at him with wide eyes, the brilliant shade of violet in the dark shining brilliantly as they filled with curiosity and wonder.

_What?_ He questioned, before it finally hit him.

She was staring at him.

At _him_.

He immediately stumbled backwards, moving sideways and panicking when her eyes followed him.

"So I'm not seeing things, Kanba-san. That really is you! Or at least, your shadow!"

He spun around and it did not take him long to see what she had seen. His outline was against the wall, a little fuzzy and unfocused, but still very much his shadow. He felt a cold race of fear move through his system, disbelief making his pulse race. He was going to be sick, he was sure of it.

_No, I'm dreaming, I have to be._ He assured himself, the panic in his voice making Himari's small smile fall. His corrected himself, aware that his sudden fear would be both confusing and alarming to Himari. He needed to calm down.

Yet his shadow could not mean anything good.

Getting a physical form that is that distinguished, in theory, should be something to celebrate. On some level, he _was_ pleased. Dizzy with happiness at the thought of maybe, just maybe, he could still have a happy ending. Himari could have a happy ending. _They_ could have a happy ending.

But he, of all people, knew that for every good, there was a bad. Nothing in life went without something to balance it out.

_No_, he reasoned, not even noticing Himari slowly padding to his side. _No, I already paid the price, there is nothing to fear. I already did it... But that guy told me I would not leave a trace, so how is this possible?_

She observed the shadow stretching from his feet, standing just before the shadow ended, signaling where the owner stood. She looked up, guessing that he was taller than her. "Kanba.. San? Are you okay?"

_I don't know._ He answered honestly, swallowing thickly. How should he feel? _I am truly not sure how to feel about this._

She smiled at him softly, hesitantly reaching out as if to touch him. "This should be a good thing, Kanba-san. Surely you can't be happy living like this. It would be like a fairy tale if you came back to life, just to be with your one true love!"

_You don't understand._ Kanba muttered, his panic returning. _I don't know what's going on, what if this ruins everything?_

Himari kept her soothing expression on her face, although inside she fought to keep calm. Kanba was obviously frightened of something and she needed to calm him down, but she could not even see him! What could she do to make him relax?

She reached out further and nearly jumped when her hand hit something warm and solid. From the way it jolted away from her and the tense posture of the shadow on the wall, she could only guess it had been Kanba.

_You... Can touch me._ His voice was disbelieving and hollow, as well as extremely unsure. _Not possible, I don't exist. I was so angry when I was attacking Kenji that I assumed it was a fluke, but now... There's no reason now. What does it mean?_

"Kanba-san?" Himari inquired, staying where she was now so as to not frighten him. "It will be alright, I'm sure. It's okay, everything's okay."

_No, it's not._ He muttered, his mind racing wildly. _Himari, you don't understand. I need to go. Now._

"Kanba-san, wha-?"

He didn't stop to hear her, just turned and began to run, heading to move directly through the walls as he always did.

**BANG**

Kanba stumbled back, nearly falling to the floor. He rubbed his face, his eyes watering at the sudden pain.

How long had it been since he felt pain?

_That hurt..._

Himari rushed to his side, her hands moving frantically in the air as if she didn't know what to do with them. "Kanba-san! Are you okay, what happened?"

Distantly, he heard Himari's parents calling for her, asking if she was alright.

Of course Himari's alright. Of course she's safe. He had sacrificed everything for her so she would be!

But what if that was unraveling? What if...

He clutched the side of his head, old doubts and memories barraging his mind, dark thoughts that he had fought to forget now surfacing like old times. All the terrible things he had done, that things he had seen, the things he had said...

Himari, lying fragile and pale beneath the hospital lights, dying...

_No!_ He shouted, not noticing Himari's frantic words beside him as she attempted to console and calm him. But she didn't know what to say or do, how could she? She knew nothing about him anymore! _No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!_

Her voice, normally so soft and sweet now laced with desperation as she tried to break through to him. "Kanba-san, please, calm down. I can try to help you, please!"

Her parents voicing, moving up the stairs and strained with concern. "Himari, we're coming, what's wrong?"

The pain in the side of his head where his nails had begun to burrow into his scalp. The pain, how could there be pain? He didn't feel, didn't speak, didn't exist! He _didn't!_

He couldn't or else...

He stood abruptly, moving around Himari and racing to her window, throwing it open and moving stealthily across her rooftop. He observed the jump he would have to make from the roof, feeling hesitant. He hadn't been afraid to do anything since history had rewritten itself, but his nose still smarted from his run in with the wall. This would hurt.

"Kan-chan!"

He froze, hardly believing the words. He glanced back over his shoulder. Himari was leaning out her window, searching for a sign of him but unable to find his shadow in the darkness.

_What... Did you say?_

She jumped, almost as if she had not been expecting an answer, but she recovered quickly. "Please don't leave, Kanba-san. I... Don't want you too." She seemed to struggle with her words, something flickering briefly in her eyes. "I can't... There's some reason Kanba-san, but I can't..."

_You called me Kan-chan._ He said, his voice hollow. How could she have?

Confusion entered her expression. "I... Did?" She struggled with herself before shaking her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts. "Please don't leave yet, Kanba-san. I can try to help you. I don't understand what's going on but I'll try to help you, you're my friend."

He trembled, wondering what to do. How could he deny her when she asked him like that? _You only met me yesterday, Himari._

Finally, a small smile crossed her face. "But you didn't meet me yesterday, right Kanba-san?"

His heart thumped painfully, the traitorous lump rising in his throat once more. He wanted nothing more than to stay with her. He had always wanted nothing more than to just stay with her and protect her, forever...

_I need to go now, Himari._ He told her and his heart nearly broke at the way her expression crumpled in disbelief. He hurried to reassure her. I won't be gone long though. _I just... Need to think._

"You'll come back?" She asked, a small bit of hope in her eyes now.

_Yes._

She breathed a sigh of relief just as her parents came through her door. She gave one last glance out her window as her parents scolded her for allowing so much cold air into her room before she was ushered back to bed, warm with his promise to her.

She knew that if he said he would come back, he would.

Somehow, she knew Kanba would keep his promise.

* * *

Kanba steeled himself as Himari's window closed, his mind racing a mile a minute. He needed to figure out what was going on, he needed to figure out what he would do next.

Leaping down and preparing for impact, Kanba moved through the night with new purpose.

* * *

_Whew, so much has happened! That was a lot of plot for one chapter, but hopefully it makes up for my slow updates!_

_Oh, and the response from my question last chapter was overwhelming! Alternate endings it is!_


	4. Warnings Unheeded

The large mansion was still and quiet, not a light on inside. Natsume and Mario must have laid down for the night.

Kanba sighed, honestly not sure what he was hoping to find here. Mario had been the other touched by Momoka like Himari had and Natsume had always seemed to be one step ahead of them, aware of things that not even Kanba had figured out yet. His true sister was sharp and, he had been sure, would have been able to provide him with at least some insight into his predicament.

However, standing here now, he realized how silly the idea had been.

She would remember nothing, the same as Himari. He had already done more than enough damage to his siblings before, he could not risk dragging them into this now. They were happy here, he could do nothing that would jeopardize that.

Pressing his hands into his pockets, he turned his eyes down to the ground, breathing deeply with relief when there was no shadow. Reaching out delicately, almost afraid to feel the cool, smooth material of the gate before him, some of the tension unwound once more when his fingers passed straight through the iron. When he focuses, he can feel the cool kiss of the metal against his skin, but otherwise, he is once again nothing more then a phantom.

Back to normal.

Good.

He wasn't disappointed, he'd convinced himself.

He turned to walk away, looking at the moon. He felt himself soothed by the familiar sight. Everything in his life had changed, but the moon remained constant and beautiful. Somehow, the thought of something so breathtaking remaining untouched by his troubles was like a balm on his frazzled nerves.

Surely, everything would be okay.

He would make sure of it.

Something rustled nearby and Kanba paused, turning towards the sound.

There, beneath a bush by an empty alleyway, sat a red-eyed black rabbit.

It felt like his was falling, rushing downwards as his stomach turned and everything turned cold at the sight of it. His hands shook, visions of a pink-haired ghost filling his mind, reminding him of everything that had happened. Every bad choice and horrifying nightmare he had endured, every time her life hung in the balance of a moment, flashing before his minds eye in horrifying clarity. He could practically feel the mans overwhelming presence, his unsettling eyes boring into his soul.

Reminding him of his sins.

Glimpsing the blood on his hands.

Reminding him.

His punishment.

_None of you will ever escape this curse._

The rabbit stood on its hind legs, gazing up at him with intelligent eyes. Its nosed twitched curiously and to Kanba's increasing dread, another hopped to its side from the shadows, identical and silently coaxing him to follow.

_As I could not, residents of the boxes like you can never gain anything._

He almost took a step forward despite the alarm bells currently shrilling in his head. No matter his own reservations to speaking with Sanetoshi, the man would be more knowledgeable about this then himself. Perhaps he could help... Perhaps he could tell him...

But the man would want a price.

A punishment.

Kanba didn't know if he could take another.

He wasn't even sure if he actually needed to really be concerned right now. Despite his own personal problems, Himari was still safe. Still healthy. Still breathing.

As long as her heart beat, strong and healthy, there was no need to concern himself with the likes of that man.

What happened to him didn't matter.

_You will all simply disappear from this world, leaving not a trace. You won't leave even a fleck of dust behind._

Hesitantly, he turned away from the pair of rabbits, looking back up at the moon. He could hear them shuffling restlessly behind him, not approaching him but also attempting to beckon him into the shadows.

"Everything is going to be alright." He told himself, forcing himself to calm and think rationally. "Himari is safe. Natsume and Mario are safe. Everything is okay. I do not need to go see... Him."

He took his first steps, then another, each one growing easier than the last.

He could go back to Himari. He could watch over her.

They would be okay.

_You will never be happy._

* * *

_Himari_.

She stirs, murmuring something in her sleep before turning over, pulling her covers to her chin and smiling slightly. He feels his tension slowly leave him as he watches her, wondering slowly if he should enter her dreams to see her sooner but he reluctantly turning down the idea. He was a protector, he didn't need to prove that Ringo girl right and turn into a creepy stalker like her and his brother.

Still, he wanted to speak with her. He knew he had frightened her and abandoned her to wonder what on Earth had gone wrong with him. He wanted to reassure her and let her know that he would still keep her safe.

But, he supposed he would just have to wait.

He sits on the floor, tilting he head to the side and looking down at the thick purple carpet fibers that covered Himari's floor. A small smirk comes to his face as he reaches out and pulls at a strand before releasing it, raising his gaze to the bright pink walls. Color splashed throughout her room, vibrant and beautiful, every one of them selected by Himari. She had always loved color.

He looked down at his hands, hands that he could only see if he truly focused and looked for them. Transparent and with an almost shimmery quality to them. He half expected them to be covered in paint as they had been for weeks after he and Shouma had painted their house, not realizing how difficult it would be to get it off after it dried.

They were clean, tanned and strong, just as they were the day he disappeared.

Not a trace of paint in sight.

Nor blood...

His thoughts turned darker as his mind wandered. Himari deserved a better protector then he, one who was not stained by the filth of murder and fear...

He balked away from the memories, refusing to remember. He didn't want to remember.

He wished he had someone to talk to.

He debated leaving to find Shouma, to ask on his take with the situation, until he realized that he didn't remember the way to Ringo's house. Himari had gone there a handful of times but normally Ringo came here. The times he had followed Himari to her place, he had been too pre-occupied with watching her rather than where they were headed.

Perhaps he really_ was_ a creepy stalker...

No, no, definitely not.

A pen on the floor catches his eye and he stares at it for a moment, his gaze wandering to the lined paper Himari has at her desk for schoolwork. Carefully reaching out, he picks up the writing instrument.

Well, he couldn't leave it sitting there on the floor, surely. What if someone stepped on it? He was sure the statistics for pen related injuries must be high, it would be irresponsible to do so.

Himari had a large amount of paper as well. More than she would use.

She wouldn't mind.

He moved slowly to her desk before seating himself. His ran his fingers over the smooth wood, his eyes running over the familiar framed photos that sat on it. A picture of Himari and Ringo at school, one of Himari and her parents at the zoo in front of the monkey exhibit, one of the kitten Himari rescued when she was 6. It was a timeline of her life.

Her new life.

Her better life.

Her life without him.

He looked down, focusing on the blank sheet of paper. He glanced over at Himari, who continued to sleep deeply. The sun was just beginning to rise, painting the sky a murky dark grey rather then the previous inky black. It would be a while before she woke.

Slowly, his hand began to move, the pen skating delicately over the paper. His had to remain completely focused on his task, otherwise his pen would wobble, make a line shaky and uncertain. His eyebrows wrinkled in concentration, keeping everything intensely focused on the paper before him.

He drew many things. A spire with a column of smoke rising from the tip, spiraling into an otherwise beautiful sky. At the base, a coffin with an unseen man inside, bursting to the brim with flowers. Beautiful, really. Taking something as heart wrenching as death and turning it into a sight to behold. Trying to make death less frightening, more acceptable. To soften it into something understandable.

But death wasn't soft. It was icy and harsh, taking what it wanted and leaving only an empty shell behind.

Death was ruthless, now matter how pretty it was made.

He drew a young boy, eyes wide and innocent as he extended a hand to others, pulling them from their own voids. Helping Himari. Helping himself, even after all that Kanba had done to him. Desperate to save every life he could.

He drew a hat in the shape of a penguin, it's long drapings weighed down by ornate beads and beautiful magenta eyes sparkling with intelligence.

He drew a pudgy little trio of penguins, each numbered and with their own little defining features.

He drew a girl, standing before a blinding pair of lights, her eyes shining with defiance and determination, her odd gun raised as she prepared to stand off against her unseen enemy.

He drew a tiny little shack in front of a playground, it's plates of metal peeling from the sides and a mail box with a piece missing from the name plate, yet somehow the worn down exterior housed the warmest atmosphere one could find.

He drew her, standing before him, her favorite dress on and fluttering in an invisible breeze, her eyes shining with life and brilliance as she extended her hands towards the sky, a thread extending from one of her pinkies and winding off to a destination unknown just off the page.

Who, he wondered, did the red thread of fate lead to now?

He sighed heavily. It didn't truly matter, he supposed. He would make sure she was happy, whoever it was.

He just knew it wasn't, and possibly never was, connected to him.

The fate that he had fought against so desperately could never have led him to her. Their lives had been too cruel, throwing them into constant struggles and battles that they could not possibly have one, nor fully understand. For how could a child possibly be meant to understand such terrible things? Abandonment? Death? Murder?

He had been no more then a child, and yet, somehow through it all, he was becoming a man.

Too late.

His fate did not lead him to Himari, nor hers to him. It was a constant struggle upstream, working tirelessly to stay by her side. Because he always would, no matter what was thrown at him.

He would always keep Himari safe.

He loved her too much to do anything else.

And this was why he hated fate. Because somehow, it always won.

He remained at her side and despite that, she could never be his.

He glanced at his last picture, one of his last true memories of being whole. It was a picture of Himari and himself, simply their outlines as she reached out to touch his face, her fingers ghosting over his cheeks in a touch so intimate that it normally would have reduced him to a blushing, stuttering mess but he had simply been so spent that he had sat there for her, obedient and at the mercy of her every whim. She had drawn him closer, so close, almost...

He stopped his train of thought, turning the paper over and shoving it away. He pressed a little harder then he meant to and it fluttered across the wooden surface before reaching the wall. He leapt forward to catch it but it maneuvered away, fluttering (Of course) into the small crack between the wall and the back of the desk, lost to him.

He sat, debating how to retrieve it. It would be difficult to make an attempt at grabbing it, what if he attempted to materialize his grip while it was inside the desk while reaching through it? Would he get stuck? Moving the desk would awaken Himari...

Then, suddenly, it was like a strike of lightning passed through his body, forcing his spine to straighten and his mind to sharpen from his slump. A warning, of that he was sure. But for what?

Something had flickered from the corner of his eye, passing through the street like a ghost using the last rays of shadow the night provided for stealth. There was nothing unusual with people walking down their street in front of their house and for a moment, Kanba wondered if it was the paranoia talking. But the trickle of suspicion danced at the back of his mind, refusing to release.

Something was wrong.

Releasing his pen Kanba hovered forward, approaching the window. There, in the front yard, two distinct shadows peeked over Himari's front gate, their gazes moving up to Himari's bedroom window.

One of them passed a bag to the other, pulling out something long and rectangular.

He moved through Himari's window smoothly, pouncing and landing silently (and painlessly) to the grass of Himari's front lawn. He moved quickly, watching as the boys opened a carton of eggs.

Kanba paused, watching as the boy tightened his grip on the white oval before turning a calculating gaze up to where she slept.

"Do you really think we should be doing this?" Murmured the larger of the two boys, neither of them males that Kanba recognized but he immediately disliked. "He said that she was haunted or somthin'. Kenji got beat up by a ghost, that's some scary stuff..."

"You actually believe that?" Sneered the other, tossing the egg smoothly in the air and catching it with ease. "We all know he must of been on something when it happened, Kenji's always been a little more sensitive if he got wasted."

"But, they said Kenji wasn't drunk, h-"

"Ah, be quiet!" Snarled the smaller boy, turning angrily on his friend. "If you're too chicken then turn around and leave right now. But I think that that little wench needs to learn a lesson, hear me? She thinks she's all that, thinks she's better then the rest of us. Even when she was with Kenji, I could see it in her. Thinks she's superior, you hear me? We need to knock her down a peg. She her her place."

The larger boy sighed. "You just don't like her Daiki. You never did. I never noticed anything weird with her. Besides, Kenji even said he wanted to do it himself when he finally gets the chance, we shouldn't do anything."

Kanba felt his gut tighten in fury, something hot racing through him.

"Like I said, if you're chicken, feel free to fly the coop." The boy turned, placing the egg carton down on the sidewalk and preparing to throw. "I'm gonna teach her a lesso-"

The boy named Daiki froze, hardly believing the feel of slime and chill racing down his spine, down his shirt, the fragments of egg shells flicking from where the egg had just been smashed over his head.

He turned on the other boy who's eyes had grown wide in disbelief and fear, quivering as he pointed to something directly behind him. Daiki didn't even have time to turn before his friend had fled.

But when Daiki turned around, there was nothing there.

He snarled, his breath hissing between his teeth. "When I catch that damn little punk I'm gonna be-"

He didn't get a chance to finish before he was thrown violently backwards by an invisible force, his shoulders pinned against the fence by what felt like a strong pair of hands, their grip solid. He raised his fists in a desperate attempt to fend off the thing that held him, but all he met was empty air.

_What do we have here_? A voice hissed. Daiki flinched, his eyes wide with disbelief as a voice moved through his mind, unfamiliar and unwelcome. He shook his head, attempting to rid himself of the presence. _I know that bastard told you about me, yet you were stupid enough to try something_?

"I... I don't believe in ghosts..." Daiki whimpered, struggling but making no ground, the force holding him in place was solid and unforgiving. "You're not real..."

_Really_? Came the amused tone of Kanba,_ Then why don't you leave? Nothing's holding you here if I'm not real._

Daiki continued to futilely struggle, his desperate cries raising slightly in volume. "Please don't hurt me!"

A chuckle drifted between them. _And how would you plan to stop me if I did? Maybe I should break your legs so you can crawl your way back to the hole you spawned out of and think next time before trying to harm her?_

"Please, I was just going to egg her house, I wasn't going to hurt her, it's harmless! Just to give a message!"

_And that message is what? To allow that vile, despicable weasel lay his hands on her? Hurt her?_ Kanba's voice betrayed his fury, all signs of humor gone. _You're just like him, aren't you? Perhaps I should send you to the hospital too? Make certain that you never dare look at a girl that way again. How do I know you won't try and harm Himari when you think it's safe? No, I should end this all right now..._

"No, please!"

_I could just snap your neck._ Kanba allowed his fingers to brush the boys throat in an idle threat, watching with satisfaction as Daiki swallowed out of reflex and tears pooled in his eyes._ A blink and every slimy thought in that rotten mind of yours is gone._

"NO!"

A dripping noise caught Kanba's attention, along with the sudden unpleasant scent of urine. He glanced down, the pool of yellow spreading across the sidewalk and seeping together with the clear goop of the egg. Kanba's nose curled in revulsion.

_Disgusting_. _No more than a coward, attacking a girl like her. Yet you whimper at my feet with just a few words_.

Daiki sobbed pathetically, heaving with cries now. "I won't touch her, I swear! Never!"

Kanba slowly eased off the pressure, just holding Daiki enough now to keep him in place for a few more seconds. _Just know that I have stained my hands with blood before for her and I will not hesitate to do so again. I will always be watching._

With those words, Kanba released him. Daiki wasted no time bolting off, never even chancing a look back, tripping over his own feet as he flew down around the corner and out of sight.

Kanba sighed heavily, glancing down at the mess of eggs and urine on the sidewalk. He considered attempting to clean it somehow so Himari wouldn't have to see it, but decided against it. Her parents would leave for work before she even stepped outside and they needed to be kept alert. They would most likely think their own arrival had scared the vandilists off and they would be more aware of the situation. They needed to know that there was cause to be concerned. The more there were protecting Himari, the better.

While Daiki was little more then a punk, someone he was willing to bet was relatively harmless (At least at this point), his words had bothered Kanba greatly. He figured Kenji was done. But if he was still considering ways to get revenge, that would prove to be problematic. Especially since he was underage, they would not be able to keep him locked up too long. He would still have his chances to reach Himari.

Kanba headed back into the house by moving through Himari's window once more, a slight smile coming to his face as he watched Himari sleep, oblivious to the exchange that had happened right outside her window. A peaceful look on her face made his heart lighten. She was happy.

He would do his best to make sure she stayed that way.

Even if he had to make due on his promise to Daiki and anyone else that dared come near her, he would make sure she was safe.

He had done it before. He would do it again.

No matter the cost.

* * *

Himari stirred in her bed, her brow furrowing as she slowly stirred from sleep. Her eyes blinked as she yawned, trying to focus on her overly bright room.

Sunlight streamed through the window and she sighed. She had tried to convince her parents last night that she was perfectly capable of going to school, but obviously they disagreed. She would be home bound once more today. They had been planning on letting her go, but after her little 'episode' last night with talking to hallucinations...

She paused, glancing around the room and feeling disappointment settle in her chest when she saw no shadow on the wall betraying his presence. Had he still not come back? He'd promised he would.

She hesitated, clearing her dry throat. "K-Kanba-san?"

_Yes?_

She jumped slightly at the clear voice ringing through her mind, a leap of glee in her stomach at his familiar presence. He had done as he'd promised.

He's returned to her.

If she had paused for a moment, she may have found her intense attachment to him to be a little odd. She had hardly known about him for even two days and yet she was allowing him to effect her so greatly. But something, deep inside her, craved his voice, to know that he was still with her. She had this intense feeling that told her that if she allowed him to leave, even once, he would disappear from her again.

She never wanted him to leave her like that again...

But instead, she simply rejoiced in his return, never second guessing her feelings. "I'm glad you came back Kanba-san!"

_I promised I would_. He reminded her, a smile in his tone. _You're looking better_.

"I feel better." She acknowledged, stretching as she sat up in bed. Even today, she felt just a little less sore. Pretty soon she'd be back to normal. But as the memories of the night before rushed back, she felt her good spirits dampen. "How are you, Kanba-san?"

He paused for a moment before answering. _I'm feeling better Himari. I'm sorry I frightened you last night, I just... Wasn't sure how to handle the situation._

Himari shook her head. "I understand. I'm just glad you're back."

Her eyes were drawn towards her desk, a number of papers shuffled around where she had not left them the night before and it was only as she drew closer she realised it was a series of sketches. Before Kanba could react, she was reaching out for the drawings, her eyes curious. "What are these?"

_Nothing!_ The papers flew away from her outreached fingertips, floating across the room as if clenched in someone's hands._ It's nothing, Himari. I just got bored through the night so I doodled a little, that's all..._

Himari's face lightened as she stepped forward. "Can I see them?"

_I'm... Not sure that's a good idea._

Her expression fell slightly, disappointment seeping into her face and perhaps even the slightest moment of hurt. "Oh, alright Kanba-san... I should go make breakfast."

Kanba froze, his insides at war. On one hand, something told him that allowing her to see those images was foolish, possibly dangerous for the both of them. But on the other, he hated seeing her with that expression, especially when he was the one who caused it...

_Ahhh,_ He exhaled heavily, loosening his grip. The most dangerous one wasn't even currently in his hands anyways, currently lost in another dimension between the wall and the desk, where he was sure a great many other things had been lost through the years. Surely these could not hurt? _You can look, Himari._

Himari turned around, a gentle, reassuring look on her face. "It's alright, Kanba-san. If you don't want to show me, I should not have been sticking my nose in where it didn't belong."

_No, really, it's okay._ Kanba grumbled, laying them out on her bed. _It's just... I'm not a very good artist. They're embarrassing._

She stepped forward, delicately picking one up. It was the picture of Natsume, the night his twin sister had nearly died attempting to defend him. The safest choice, he supposed, considering it was really the only picture that was not connected to Himari.

She raised a finger to the lines delicately, entranced. "This is very nice, Kanba-san. Nothing to be embarrassed about, surely." She paused, her brow crinkling in concentration. "She's very pretty..."

_My... Sister_. Kanba ventured. He knew he was treading on thin ice and instinct told him that one misstep could lead to doom. Which doom and how, he didn't know, but something continued to warn him against giving too much away. But Himari had never even met Natsume or Mario in this timeline, surely this must be alright?_ Twin, actually._

Himari's focus seemed to intensify, her eyes taking in every detail hungrily. "Does she... Look like you?"

_Not really._ Kanba paused, thinking it over. _Not really at all, actually. Although we have similar eyes, despite not being the same color. Hers were blue while mine were green._

Himari made a light noise, a smile quirking her lips although she never looked up from his picture. "Green, huh? What else? What did you look like? Your shadow looked quite tall."

He paused before smirking._ Yes, I'm tall. I was also devilishly handsome and very popular._

Himari raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I'm sure you were."

When he didn't say anymore, she placed the picture down, moving on to the next one. "And this?"

_My brother._

Himari blinked in surprise. "Shouma-san?"

_The very same. _

She bit her lip lightly. "He wasn't this young when he..."

_No_. Kanba answered soothingly, knowing what her concern was. The thought of a small child going through everything they had only to die was a distressing thought. _That was simply... How I like to remember him best, I suppose_.

She continued to look through the pictures, knowing that Kanba would not be giving her anymore information on the subject. He always became dodgy when questions of his past were brought up and now was no different. She chose not to push it, particularly after the way he had left her last night. She did not want to chase him away again.

She smiled at the picture of the three penguins, their faces identical but each with a simple, distinguishing feature. As she turned the page to Momoka's hat, Kanba felt a moment of relief when there was no flicker of recognition in her eyes, just a simple smile on her face. Even when he felt his embarresment deepen at her finding the picture of herself, she remained simply curious through it all, examining each of his works with a keen eye.

She turned to the last page and she paused, her eyebrows crinkling in thought.

"This..." She hesitated, grasping at words that just eluded her. Kanba swallowed nervously, looking at the picture of their previous home. "It used to be the colors of the rainbow... I'm certain..."

A cold stone dropped into Kanba's stomach. _You must be mistaken, it was simply a normal shed._

Himari bit her lip lightly, her fingers lightly tracing the lines that showed their old sanctuary. "No, I'm certain... Blues and reds and yellow, all colors. It wasn't always like that though, just after..." She stopped, something strange and familiar filling her eyes. "After they... Left..."

_Himari,_ Kanba started, gently reaching out and attempting to pull the paper from her grasp. _I think you should stop now, time for breakfast, you must be hungry._

"I remember, I do..." Himari answered, her voice distant and slowly gaining confidence. "I lived here, long ago... With... My broth-"

_Himari!_

"ers, although they weren't really my brothers, but I loved them so much." Her hands shook slightly, tears slowly filling her eyes and her breathing quickened. "Where are they? What happened? They just dissapeared, but they would never have just left me! The promised they wouldn't!"

Kanba jumped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders in a desperated attempt to get the situation under control. _Himari, stop it! What you're talking about never happened! Breathe, just think, you've never lived in a place like this!_

Her eyes held a distant quality, almost as if she could no longer hear him at all. "There was glass and fire... A strange red glow and I broke it half, I needed to save him... He tried so hard for me..."

He was growing frantic now, fear racing through his very being as he attempted to console her and himself. He could have just ruined everything, it would be all his fault! She could **not** be allowed to remember!

_Himari, listen. Listen to me. You never lived there. You have no brothers. No one is missing._

Her face paled, her skin turning a sickly white as she raised her eyes blankly. "Kanba, you..."

Her knees crumpled beneath her and it too every ounce of effort for Kanba to catch her before she hit the ground. His hands shook, terrified as they hovered over he cheek and he was sure that if he was capable, he would be crying.

The pale sheen of her skin, the limpness of her body, it was all too familiar.

Horrible thoughts wove their way through his mind, raising memories, so many memories. _Soon her breath will leave her, her heart will cease pumping, her skin will turn cold and you will have failed again._

_**NO!**_ He bellowed his desperation, bending over and placing his ear over her chest. He nearly cried out in relief when he heard the steady pounding of her heart, regular and strong. She wasn't dying.

He reached beneath her knee and around her shoulders, cradling her against him as he carried her to her bed, nearly expecting what little form he had to crumble as he did so, just like it had before. But he got her there without incident, her breath puffing softly as he covered her in blankets. He sighed, wondering how she could be so healthy now and yet, she still seemed to always be confined to her bed.

He sat at the foot of her mattress, watching her dreamless slumber. He would be here when she awoke. This was entirely his fault. If he hadn't caved and allowed her to look... If he hadn't drawn them in the first place then this would not have happened. He wanted her to be safe but, truth of the matter was... A deep, selfish part of him _wanted_ her to remember and that selfishness was hurting Himari again.

He was certain he would have some explaining to do and he was dreading it.


End file.
